Week One of the Cranial Remolding Band (aka Helmet)

Ansel just finished his first week of wearing his cranial remolding band, aka helmet, and it's going well. Overall he's a pretty chill baby anyway, and he eased into the helmet without a problem. Over the past week, he gradually built up his time wearing the helmet until he was wearing all 23 hours a day. Day one was one hour on, one hour off. Day two was two hours on, one hour off, and so on for the rest of the week until he wore it all day. The one hour that we take it off is the hour that we clean it with a mild soap and let it dry out. He hasn't acted like it is hindering him or getting in the way, and continues to play, smile, and eat normally, although his head has been a little sweaty. The specialists say that will go away after a few weeks as his head adjusts to having it on. I am just glad that he is wearing it in the winter, because he is hot-blooded, and I bet he would be sweating like crazy if he had it in the summer.

I was concerned with being able to breastfeed with the helmet. It's not very large, maybe a 1/2 inch thick, but is difficult to nurse in the cradle hold. When I'm home, it's easy enough to nurse side-lying on the bed with the helmet on (hello, naptime after work for momma!) but I just take it off to nurse if he is nursing in the cradle hold. I check with the doctor today about that and he said it was just fine to take it off for that 20-30 minutes when I need to nurse. It's just now that I've gotten the hang of nursing, I don't really want to give it up. Plus, of course, I know it's better for Ansel and cheaper too!

He continues to have therapy for the torticollis once a week, plus we do stretching and even more tummy time than before at home. I see the improvements and the therapist has told me that she is very happy with his progress and he is right on pace with the other milestones like sitting, which makes me feel so much better.

We decided to design the helmet as Captain America's helmet. I really wanted it to look like some kind of a real-life helmet, not just a design (though there were some cute "fixin' my flat" designs). So I spray-painted it blue, then added the "A" and wings decals with puffy paint, and covered the whole thing with Mod Podge. I need to go over it again with a clear spray paint because the Mod Podge doesn't hold up to water the best.

To be honest, I never would have wanted all these issues, and of course prayed for a healthy baby. Between therapy, consultations, helmet fittings, and normal checkups, we have had around 15 appointments in the two months, with most of those in the last month. I'm ready to have my evenings at home back! But of course I know this is best for him, and want his little head to be round and normal like everyone else. I keep trying to trust God and look to Him for strength on those tired days. Somehow I am getting close to seven hours of sleep a night, and can make it on that much. One thing that I am really struggling with lately is keeping up with my Bible reading. It's just so hard to fit it in. I know I could read on my phone while nursing, but I just don't feel like I can focus like I should then. And with working, my evenings are  maxed out with just keeping up with dinner and chores. I'm not doing a bunch of extra cleaning or something either, just the minimum. (Like dishes get done about twice a week! Bathrooms? haha.... twice a month maybe...) We teach Sunday School twice a month, host a weekly Bible study, I try to participate in Meal Trains... I know everyone is busy, and I'm not saying mine is worse or anything. I'm just saying I'm struggling to get my Bible reading in, and it is frustrating because I have always been super consistent on reading every day. The truth is, I really miss it and long for that intimacy with God. So I am determined to find a way to make time. Maybe just 20 minutes, but I have to find a way. I need the Word. NEED it. Pray for me if you can, that I will be able to make time to read. Shoot, even writing this post takes time, which I could be reading! And I realize that, but I know several people wanted updates on Ansel, so I wanted to be able to do that for them. Sigh. Balance. It's so elusive.

My baby has plagiocephaly

After expressing concerns to our pediatrician about Ansel's flat spot, she referred us to a specialist at Dayton Children's Hospital. The nurse practitioner diagnosed Ansel with plagiocephaly, mild torticollis, and mild truncal hypotonia. So much for all those chiropractor visits, tummy time, and stretching at home. His poor little head is still having some issues.

I was very emotional about all this after the appointment, and I still am. As a parent, I try to do everything that I possibly can to make sure Ansel grows up healthy. For these issues to be appearing is disheartening, especially when I love him so much. But I have to keep a level head and take steps to improve the situation. So here's the breakdown of each issue.

The plagiocephaly (flattening of the head as the skull forms) merely cosmetic, and if we didn't do anything, it is very likely to lessen and perhaps even go away. Ansel's flat spot is of the back left of his head, but when you look at his head from above, it actually looks like a parallelogram. In fact, his ears are not quite aligned either. The NP told us that many times it does improve on its own. Between 0-6 months is the fastest growth, then 6-12 slows down some, and after 12 months is the slowest growth period. So the sooner we address it, the better. See pic below:

The torticollis (shortening/tightness of neck muscles (SCM) on one side) is most likely the cause of the plagiocephaly, because Ansel has favored the left side since the first few weeks. We started taking him to the chiropractor around a month for adjustments and learned stretching to do, and definitely saw some improvement in how much he favored the left side. For example, in the first month he would always fall asleep looking to the left, and began to fall asleep looking straight up or to the right. We did tummy time, placed bright toys to the right, and constantly tried to turn his head when he was sleeping. However, at 5 months he still has a mild case of torticollis.

The mild truncal hypotonia (head lag) is perhaps connected with the above concerns. This doesn't worry me as much because it seems like a more normal thing for a baby to develop at a difference pace.

To address these concerns, Ansel will be starting physical therapy this week and is going to be fitted for a cranial remolding helmet. Yikes!! My kid is going to be in a helmet?? Yep, 23 hours a day for 4-6 months or until the flat spot goes away. The helmet works not by putting pressure on the skull, but by keeping pressure off. In a way I feel embarrassed and just silly, but the bottom line is that I want the plagiocephaly corrected as soon as possible. It's expensive though... in the ballpark of $2,500. I'm hoping that insurance will pay, but if not I'm glad that we have this in our HSA (though it will pretty much wipe us out for the year). But it's worth it to me.

What I want is for my baby to grow up healthy and love God. He doesn't have to be the Gerber baby model. That's not the point of the helmet. (In the back of my mind though, I know it would break my heart if I didn't do anything and it ended up not rectifying itself, and then he was bullied because of it.) Don't we all want the best for our kids? I sure do. Walking into Children's last week, I kept having flashbacks of appointments for my little sister Ratona for her seizures, planning brain surgery, and therapy afterwards. That emotional story is a post for another day, but let me just say it was unnerving to be in the same place. I'll be honest and say I prayed many times for a healthy baby that would not have to face all the difficulties that she did. I know, I repeat, I KNOW this is nowhere near the magnitude of that situation, but geez, I am really trying to trust God and also do my part to help Ansel be as healthy as possible. I know every situation is a chance to trust God and bring Him glory, so I'm trying to do that as we start this journey.

Easy Oatmeal Bars

Looking to get your oats in but still have a sweet tooth? Behold! Easy Oatmeal Bars!! This easy recipe can be customized to your mood or the season with various fillings. Lately I've been experimenting with caramel and pumpkin, though the original recipe calls for jam. You could also use chocolate chips, applesauce, apple butter, strawberry jelly, peanut butter, nuts, raisins, Nutella, etc for the filling. It's not hard to bake and goes together fast. There's even a bit of sweet-salty thing going on from the butter in the crust. Mmmm!

Easy Oatmeal Bars
2 c. quick oats, uncooked
1 3/4 cup wheat flour (or white)
2 T ground flax seed
1 c. firmly packed brown sugar (or make 1/4 cup of that honey)
3/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 cup real butter
1 to 1 1/2 cups of your choice of filling

Combine oats, flour, flax seed, brown sugar, salt, and baking soda in large bowl. Melt and stir until the mixture is crumbly and butter is evenly dispersed. Press 2/3 of mixture firmly in the bottom of a greased 9x13 pan. Spread filling evenly over crust, then sprinkle remaining crumble mixture over top. Bake at 400 for 25-30 minutes, or until golden brown. Let cool and cut into squares.

Filling note: Try 1 cup of old fashioned caramel as filling. Or, mix 1 c. pumpkin plus 1/4 cup sugar, 1/4 tsp ginger, 1/4 tsp allspice, and 1/4 tsp nutmeg and use as filling. I even did a pumpkin-caramel filling and it was delicious!!


Pictured below: Old fashioned caramel with chocolate chip filling

Postpartum Running

After four months, I've finally swapped walking for running. While I'm only doing a mile, I'm still pretty proud that I am running the whole mile, and running it at my half marathon race pace from last year (about 11 minutes). I'm not fast, but I'm moving! As I build up my strength and endurance, I'm hoping to get back to running 3-4 miles, three times a week.

While it is hard to make time to run, I am determined that I need to be healthy to be the best mom I can be, so I will make running a priority. With Ansel at 17.9 pounds at his checkup this week, I can't wear him in the front carrier without my back being strained, so it seemed natural to switch back to running. I know that I can find a back carrier to walk with him, but I haven't gotten around to that yet. So running it is. 

It seriously feels good to run again. I know I am one of those odd people who likes to run... but really, getting a good workout makes me feel like maybe I just will be able to knock off those last 5 pounds of baby weight. I honestly would have started back sooner, but to be honest, nursing makes everything tender and it wasn't until I found a really good sports bra that I would even try again. Even with the amazing Jill DD bra, I still have to double layer bras. I know that sounds completely ridiculous, but it was really the only way I had enough support to run. Once I stop nursing, I can't wait to wear this bra without another layer

So let me tell you about the Jill DD bra. It's awesome for those with blessed bosoms. It's super supporting, with lots of ways to adjust. First, it has four sets of back hooks to get the perfect amount of snug on the band. Then, it also has cushioned adjustable straps that fold up and Velcro for the right fit. (PS- you can actually wear this sports bra as a nursing bra!!) It has a mesh stabilizer layer on the front that is supportive and prevents show-through. Worth every penny, I tell you!! What a great sports bra.

On a completely unrelated note, last Friday was Talk Like a Pirate Day and Krispy Kreme gave away a free dozen donuts if you were dressed like a pirate. Since Justin, Ansel, and I all dressed up, we walked away with three dozen donuts. They were fresh off the line and still warm when we ate them. SOOOO good. We might have polished off a whole dozen before we left the store. And that is why I have to run! Haha!

Saving Time as a Busy Mom

Going to back to work this fall has been full of mixed emotions. I do enjoy my job and I feel like I get blessed with great students year after year. Yet I miss Ansel while I am gone, and I still have to keep up with all the everyday tasks that were easier to stay on top of before our precious little one came along. Justin is also finishing his last year of PTA school, so this adds some stress into the mix since he is gone two nights a week and has studying to do when he is home. Before he was in school, we basically split all our duties in half since we both worked (I know, pretty progressive, right?) Now, he has school and I have Ansel to feed, so it's still basically split, although I am trying to do as much as I can to help him since his evenings are more structured than mine. (By the way, I swear I could write a dissertation on the difference between scheduled responsibilities and flexible time to get things done.)

With all that said, here are a few things I am doing to keep myself partially sane.

• Make freezer meals on the weekends for the next week.
• Make two of everything so that I have leftovers and don't have to cook two nights in a row. 
• Buy meat in larger quantities and divide them into small portions and freeze. 
• Cook (boil) chicken ahead of time and shred or chop for easy meal prep. 
• Limit grocery shopping trips by keeping a list and only going to the store once a week.  
• Designate one day a week for house cleaning (sweeping, dusting, bathrooms, laundry). 
• Pack lunches the night before. 
• Pack pumping supplies the night before. 
• Pick out clothes the night before. 
• Cook a dozen scrambled eggs Sunday night and store in the fridge so I have a healthy breakfast each morning.
• Split duties with hubby. Me: dinner, dishes - Him: trash, mowing - Both: laundry, other chores
• Keep up with my social life (phone calls, texts to close friends, Facebook stalking...haha) while nursing. 
• Be efficient in my work at school so that when I am home, I can focus on my hubby and babe. 

I am feeling pretty tired in the evening though, and I'll admit that I fall asleep nursing sometimes. It's sure hard to get to bed before 10 PM with getting all three bags ready (school bag, pumping bag, diaper bag) and everything else, but I am really trying. At least Ansel is sleeping like a champ 8:30-9 PM to 6 AM. My daily schedule looks something like this:

5:20 Rise and shine!
6:00 Nurse Ansel
6:45 Finish getting ready while Justin burps and changes Ansel
7:10 Drop Ansel off at sitter's
7:30-3:00/3:15 Work
3:30 Pick up Ansel
3:45-5:00 Get dinner ready, eat, clean up
5:00 Nurse Ansel and play with him
6:00 Housework, leisure, bills, etc
7:00 Exercise at least 3x a week
8:00 Nurse Ansel
9:00 Get ready for next day, read Bible
10:00 To bed!

What do you do to save time while working and raising a family?  I'm definitely looking for suggestions to better maximize my time.

The State of Country Music Today... sigh...

Has anyone else notice how sexualized country music has become? I miss the old days. And so do the singers Maddie and Tae. I love their new song and video, "Girl in a Country Song." But first watch "Why Country Music Was Awful in 2013" and you will see why their song is so needed.

Three Months Postpartum

My baby is fifteen weeks old. I am back to work this fall, and he is at the sitter's during the day. I don't like leaving him. It's hard for me to trust someone else to take care of my baby, even if it was my own mother. And I know the ladies I have watching him are very caring too!! I might be a little obsessive since I made a chart for the sitter to fill out with how many ounces he at eat meal, how long he slept, poopy and wet diapers.... But I just love Ansel so much. I want him to grow and develop and thrive.

I really don't doubt that he's thriving. Two weeks ago, he had almost doubled his birth weight, so I think he is probably pretty close to it now. He likes to lay under the gym and bat at the toys, and is grabbing onto the rings too. I hang them from his car seat so he has something to swat at too. He kicks his legs and swings his arms like crazy. While he's not quite there, he can just about touch his toes, grabbing at his legs and shins.  His neck muscles during tummy time are great, although he still favors turning to the left side. He makes lots of noise like he wants to tell a story, and it's really fun to listen to him. He smiles. Oh, the smiles. I live for them.

In short, Ansel is doing great.

I am doing pretty good too. I still have about eight pounds to go, and I feel like I have been stuck here for a month. That is frustrating. But I keep telling myself that it will come gradually, and to just eat healthy and be patient. It really stinks not being able to fit back into my clothes right now. Almost can, but not quite! I still don't think I am over giving birth... it just was really hard. I am convinced more and more that the birth process is different for everyone. For some it's easier or faster, and for some, it's longer and more painful. I wish I wasn't in the latter category...

Breastfeeding is going pretty well too. At thirteen weeks, Ansel decided he only wanted to eat every four hours, so he eats at 6 am, 10 am, 2 pm, 5:30 pm, and 8:30 or 9 pm. That's just five times a day. (I was totally content with keeping him at six times a day (every three hours) but he just wasn't eating at those times). Since two of those times I am at work, I pump just once at work right in the middle of the day. Thankfully I can pump over ten ounces in about ten minutes, so I can make up for this just fine. Usually Ansel is eat around five to six ounces from a bottle of breast milk during his daytime feedings. I am glad that I am able to keep up with it. My goal is to reach six months. If things keep going like they are, I might go longer though.We will see.

I think that's a simple summary of where we are now. Gotta get ready for tomorrow now!

Lemon-Lime Cucumber Spears

Overgrown cucumbers overtaking you? Here's a sweet canning recipe for your tastebuds! I got the idea for this concoction from my mom's cinnamon rings. I figured that if you could  flavor cucumbers cinnamon, then why not lemon-lime? Both are strong flavors. So these are "pickled" with apple cider vinegar and turn out to be a very sweet treat. I will be using some of these at Christmas for gifts.

Lemon-Lime Cucumber Spears
Cucumbers
Apple cider vinegar
Sugar
Lime juice
Lemon juice
Alum
Green and yellow food coloring

Day One
1. Peel and seed cucumbers and cut into spears to fit the size of the jars you will be using. You need about 8-10 cups. Place in large container.
2. Mix one cup pickling lime with about 4 quarts of water to cover spears. Let sit overnight.

Day Two
3. Drain and rinse spears.
4. In saucepan, bring to boil: 1/2 cup apple cider vinegar,  2 tsp alum, and green and yellow food coloring (to desired color) with spears. Simmer at least an hour. Drain. Pack into jars.
5. Begin heating canner for a hot water bath. Have lids and rings ready.
6. In another saucepan, bring to boil: 1 c. cider vinegar, 1 c. water, 5 c. sugar, 1/2 cup lemon juice, 1/2 cup lime juice, and green and yellow food coloring (to desired color).
7. Pour syrup over packed jars, leaving about an inch of head space. Put on lids and rings. Process 10 minutes in boiling hot water bath.
8. Remove jars from hot water bath and let cool until jars seal. Let sit for several days for flavor absorption. Enjoy chilled.

Canning Season Totals 2014

This post may be slightly premature, but I'm SO stoked about how much I was able to preserve this summer, I have to write about it. It's been crazy busy with Ansel, but luckily my mom is here and has helped me with a lot of it. Some I have done bits at a time, while others have been a massive haul in one day. My garden definitely didn't perform like I wanted it to. I planted green beans, zucchini, tomatoes, peppers, peas, cucumbers, a melon, and gourds. The green beans did well until something started eating the leaves off; I canned maybe half of what I did the year before. The peas looked awesome until...something ate them. The zuchinni did great, though they had their share of blossoms and even leaves eaten. The tomatoes are still going, but I swear they are ripening one at a time. (Because of this, I bought 50 lbs at Meijer and used those) Nothing happened with the cucumber or melon, though I have a wonderful friend who gave me some of her too-big cucumbers. A few gourds are growing on the fence. Even with all that, here's the totals:

25 half pints of salsa
8 pints of tomato juice
15 pints of spaghetti sauce
43 quarts of green beans (about half are from my mom's garden; of these she canned some for me)
8 half pints of cinnamon sticks + 5 pints of cinnamon rings
8 half pints + 2 pints of lemon-lime cucumber spears
17 quart freezer bags of shredded zucchini
7 quart freezer bags of strawberries (from my mom's)

I still had some frozen apples and corn left, as well as some green beans and tomato sauces. I'm pretty well stocked. I love knowing what is in my food!!!! I might have a few more items to finish up into fall (apples and tomatoes) but the bulk of it is done. Whew. About time to prop my feet up!

Working Mom Dilemma

I have to admit that thinking of returning to work has brought me to tears several times over the last week. Just a few weeks are left before I return to teaching after being off since the beginning May, when my son Ansel was born. Do I want to stay home? Absolutely. Is it feasible right now for my family? Nope. My husband is about to start clinicals in September for his physical therapy assistant program, and therefore cannot work. So I'm the breadwinner this year. But back it up, because maybe looking at the whole story will give some perspective.

We were married five years ago, after my husband finished college (I had already graduated and been teaching for two years). We didn't want kids right away, for a couple of reasons. First, we wanted to get to know each other really well and have that foundational relationship super strong before kids came and started vying for attention. Second, we looked at it financially. We still had loans to pay off. I was doing grad school. Third, we were far away from our immediate family. Fourth, well, we just didn't want kids yet! But as time moves on, that itch starts to get stronger. I saw my sister having my adorable niece and nephew, and those in my age group at church were multiplying their family members. When we moved back to Ohio and bought our house, our loans were more manageable, and I realized I wasn't getting younger any time soon. Sure, it would be great to have the loans completely paid off, the car completely paid off, etc. But time just keeps ticking. I didn't want to wait much longer to have kids, because every thing will never be totally in order. Although I would like to feel completely in control, even if we waited another five years to have things paid off, something else would come up. My point is that I don't think there is really a perfect time to have kids. There will always be something that I want to accomplish (like build a house) but for me, to keep putting off kids was to try to trust myself and my plans more than I trusted God.

So at 27, we got pregnant and I had my first baby. He is so precious! Meanwhile my husband is back in school for his physical therapy assistant program, which ends after this year. As I mentioned before, he will not be able to work, so I will be the one bringing home the money this year. Of course I have worked for the past seven years, but this year we will have my income as the sole income. Financially this do-able, though we will have to be more careful than we have been in the past. House projects are on hold, and extra shopping is reduced (noticed I did not say eliminated-ha!).

But I am now a working mom. Childcare is going to cost me about $500 a month, which is just about as much as our house payment! While the sitter is just a few houses down, I will still miss Ansel while I am away from him. I will have to balance work, my baby (and breastfeeding!), and the cooking, cleaning, etc. Of course my husband will help with house things as much as he can, but he has night classes in addition to clinicals during the day, plus study time. It is going to be busy! But life has always been busy, so it is a matter of prioritizing to me.

Many emotions have surfaced through this transition. Jealousy of the moms who stay at home. Worry about leaving my three month old. Pride that I can help take care of my family. Relief to be away from the constant care. Anxiety about if I will still be a good mom. So many emotions. So I must look to God. First, I know that the Bible says that I must care for my home and family and follow God's plan for me as a wife (Titus 2:4-5, Proverbs 31, Ephesians 5). That has to be the number one priority. This year, that care extends to me being the single income for our family while my husband is in school. Second, I also know that the Bible has clear examples of women working- Deborah was a military commander, and Lydia a seller of cloth. If I look at the Proverbs 31 woman, it seems pretty clear that she is involved in business activities outside of the home like real estate, selling textiles, etc. So a mom working outside the home has a Biblical precedent. Certainly I don't think that means that all moms should work outside the home. In fact, I look forward to the day that I can stay home!

I think this issue is divisive when it should not be. Working mom vs. stay at home mom: people try to debate who is making the bigger sacrifice, who is doing what is best for the family. It really seems that the Bible has examples of both. Maybe instead we need to look at it in the context of what is best for each family, with the marriage being the primary relationship. Is the wife working when the husband does not want her to? Is the wife working because the husband is lazy? These would be different issues. However, if the husband and wife have sat down together and are in agreement with the mom working, then it seems that is best for that family. In another scenario, what if the husband cannot work? I know of a father who is struggling with a disability, and therefore the wife must work. This husband worked for the majority of their 25+ year marriage, but now is physically unable to do the work that he did before. Of course it would make sense for the mother to work now. What about the spouse who works from home the majority of the time? In one family I know, a father works from home and takes care of the children, while the mother works as a nurse. That is a good solution for them.

For me, it will be hard for me to leave my baby and go to work, but I know it is just for a time. It will be stressful to be on one income, but I am grateful that God has provided a good job for me. It will be hard to find a balance, but I know God will grant grace.

God teaches me through every season of life, and I have no doubt I will learn from this one.