My baby is fifteen weeks old. I am back to work this fall, and he is at the sitter's during the day. I don't like leaving him. It's hard for me to trust someone else to take care of my baby, even if it was my own mother. And I know the ladies I have watching him are very caring too!! I might be a little obsessive since I made a chart for the sitter to fill out with how many ounces he at eat meal, how long he slept, poopy and wet diapers.... But I just love Ansel so much. I want him to grow and develop and thrive.
I really don't doubt that he's thriving. Two weeks ago, he had almost doubled his birth weight, so I think he is probably pretty close to it now. He likes to lay under the gym and bat at the toys, and is grabbing onto the rings too. I hang them from his car seat so he has something to swat at too. He kicks his legs and swings his arms like crazy. While he's not quite there, he can just about touch his toes, grabbing at his legs and shins. His neck muscles during tummy time are great, although he still favors turning to the left side. He makes lots of noise like he wants to tell a story, and it's really fun to listen to him. He smiles. Oh, the smiles. I live for them.
In short, Ansel is doing great.
I am doing pretty good too. I still have about eight pounds to go, and I feel like I have been stuck here for a month. That is frustrating. But I keep telling myself that it will come gradually, and to just eat healthy and be patient. It really stinks not being able to fit back into my clothes right now. Almost can, but not quite! I still don't think I am over giving birth... it just was really hard. I am convinced more and more that the birth process is different for everyone. For some it's easier or faster, and for some, it's longer and more painful. I wish I wasn't in the latter category...
Breastfeeding is going pretty well too. At thirteen weeks, Ansel decided he only wanted to eat every four hours, so he eats at 6 am, 10 am, 2 pm, 5:30 pm, and 8:30 or 9 pm. That's just five times a day. (I was totally content with keeping him at six times a day (every three hours) but he just wasn't eating at those times). Since two of those times I am at work, I pump just once at work right in the middle of the day. Thankfully I can pump over ten ounces in about ten minutes, so I can make up for this just fine. Usually Ansel is eat around five to six ounces from a bottle of breast milk during his daytime feedings. I am glad that I am able to keep up with it. My goal is to reach six months. If things keep going like they are, I might go longer though.We will see.
I think that's a simple summary of where we are now. Gotta get ready for tomorrow now!
Showing posts with label Babywise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Babywise. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Babywise Bashing
It really makes me sad when people bash Babywise. Usually, said people haven't even read the book! I'm fine if you have read the book and disagree with the philosophy, but read the book first. It's like saying you are a Republican (or Democrat or Green) just because your family is. You have to do the research yourself to make informed opinions. With that being said, I would like to post on some of the common misconceptions about Babywise.
1. Babywise babies are malnourished.
The premise of Babywise from birth on is that the baby should get a full feeding. If a baby is getting a full feeding each time he or she eats, then the baby will be getting plenty of nutrition, especially from breastfeeding mothers (many people do not realize that formula-fed babies can be on Babywise too). When a baby has a full belly, of course it will be able to go longer between feedings. The authors are very clear that in the first 1-2 weeks, the mother should feed the baby whenever the baby is hungry. Furthermore, while establishing a routine, the authors continually refer to growth charts for baby weight gain to tell mothers not to rush to space out feedings, because growth is the most important part in feeding.
2. Babywise babies are hyper-scheduled.
The term that Babywise uses to describe their style of feeding is parent-directed feeding (PDF). That means that the parent makes and informed decision about when to feed the baby. The baby is part of the larger family, which includes mom and dad and perhaps older siblings as well. Therefore, creating a routine that fits both baby and family means that everyone is getting the attention that they need. Dad and mom can still have their relationship, and older children still have time to spend with mom and dad too. In the early weeks, the mother will establish a first feeding that stays within a half-hour start time each morning, and the rest of the day falls into a routine after that first feeding. For example, the parent may set a start time of 6:30 am. If the baby wakes up hungry at 6:00 am, go ahead and feed him. Or if he is sleeping, wake him by 7:00 am to stay on a flexible schedule. Younger babies will be eating every 2 to 2 1/2 hours, and as they grow they will lengthen the time between feedings to 3 or 3 1/2 hours. Flexibility is emphasized. Let's say the baby usually eats at 9:30 am but another sibling has an appointment at 10:00 am. Mother can make the decision to feed the baby early at 9:00 am in order to have the feeding done and make it to the appointment. Or, if the family is traveling on a plane and the baby is crying, the book encourages mom to consider others and not wait to feed him.
3. Babywise babies are left to cry without comfort for hours.
While the authors state that crying is part of a baby's day and that the baby may cry when put down to nap, they do not say that the baby should cry for hours. It is important to realize that babies do not cry just because of hunger. Maybe their diaper needs changed, or they have a burp that needs to come out, or they want some snuggle time. If the baby had a full feeding an hour ago, it may not be hunger. PDF encourages parents to go through all the scenarios to find the source of the baby's cry. The authors also state explicitly that hunger is always a reason to feed the baby before his or her next routine feeding. The authors also warn mothers to keep an eye out for growth spurts, because baby will need to eat more frequently during those times and motherwill need to adjust the routine to meet the baby's needs.
4. Babywise babies are unhappy and have unmet emotional needs.
This myth goes back to the idea that the baby is crying for hours without comfort, which is not happening. In reality, a predictable routine brings peace in knowing what to expect. Babies who fall into the routine wake up cooing from naps, not crying. (And I can attest that this is personally true with my baby). Furthermore, the routine developed in Babywise starts with feeding, then moves to wake time and finally nap time. The authors encourage much interaction, cuddling, and playing together during wake time, and has a whole chapter with activities to do with your baby during these times. If the mother and father are interacting with the baby in these alert times after feeding, this is where many emotional needs can be met. The physical need to eat is different than the emotional need for interaction. Certainly one can interact while eating, but it is not the only time emotional needs can be met.
5. Babywise mothers will have milk supply issues.
Again, a hyper-schedule is not what Babywise is about. In early weeks the authors warn not to let the baby sleep more than five hours between feedings at night, and to keep to 2 to 2 1/2 hours during the day, gradually moving up as the baby gets older and the stomach expands to hold more food. If the baby is nursing long enough to get full feedings each time, the mother's breast will be emptied and then fill again for the next feeding. Emptying the breast keeps milk supply up, but snack feedings may hurt milk supply. The book clearly talks about how when baby starts to sleep through the night, mom may need to feed more during the day to have enough stimulation (all mothers are different) so mom should keep an eye out. It also discourages moving too fast to eliminate night feedings or day feedings because of the same reason.
6. Babywise mothers are selfish and do not love their children.
It is not selfish to want a good night's sleep in order to have energy to take care of your family. The family includes the husband, which is the primary relationship, and other siblings as well as baby. Functioning on limited sleep for months at a time takes a toll on your health and emotions. Sleeping through the night is good for both mother and baby. Mothers knows she needs to be healthy to take care her baby, so helping set a routine that leads to longer nighttime sleep is loving and advantageous to everyone in the family.
**************************************
I would like to write a little about how Babywise has personally worked for me. I write this after my 9 week old son just slept 8 (yes, 8!) hours last night. During his first week, I fed him basically whenever he cried, 12 or so times a day. I realized early on that crying did not always equal hunger, so I changed a diaper or held him before I offered the breast if he had just eaten. I did feed him very frequently though and really, really worked to get a full feeding- tickling his feed, talking to him, blowing lightly on his face. He was nursing up to 20 minutes on each side and got used to feeling full. Even but the end of that week though, I was so worn out, so starting about week two I began to space feedings out, but really this happened pretty naturally since he was having a full stomach. From week three through about six, he was eating every three hours in the morning (6, 9, 12, 3) and then evening feedings would be 2 1/2 hours apart. Even at three to four weeks, he was going four hours between feedings at night, which allowed me three hours for sleep. Then I stopped waking him up after the last evening feeding (10 or 11 pm) around a month and he would go five hours between feedings, gradually working up to six hours some nights. Whatever time he got up in the night, I would try to feed him around 6:30 in the morning (sometimes 6, or 7) to establish that first morning feeding because I will be going back to work in the fall, and he will have to be on a schedule then anyway. Since he was about six weeks old, he has only got up for that early morning (3 or 4 am) feeding a handful of times. It has been great!! I feel so much better having slept. I can spend time with my hubby during Ansel's naps, get the house clean, prepare meals, even can produce from our garden. I should probably note that Ansel's eating and wake time is about 60 to 90 minutes, and then his nap is 90 to 120 minutes, filling in the rest of the three hours until his next meal. So he eats at 9:30 am, I change his diaper and get him dressed at 10 am, and then we play together, do tummy time, etc until 10:30, when he goes back to sleep for his nap. I think being on this routine will really help when I go back to work in the fall.
I realize that I have a very type-A personality and love to have a routine. I am sure that being into a routine like this might make some people crazy who are more spontaneous. But it works for me. And actually, I hated breastfeeding at first but now I feel like I could maybe go even more than my goal of six months. Ansel is getting faster at eating (I know this comes with age) and really loves his schedule, waking up cooing from his naps. Yes, there were times of crying when we first started, but I think that would happen if we were on a routine or not. For example, he is almost always a little fussy in the evening, even if he just ate and I'm playing with him. Evening is just his fussy time. And for growth: he's 14 pounds at nine weeks, gaining over five pounds since birth. He's smiling all the time. I would say he is physically and emotionally nourished! Still, I respect people who follow a different philosophy of feeding, because each mother needs to do what she feels is best for her baby. Babywise works for me.
1. Babywise babies are malnourished.
The premise of Babywise from birth on is that the baby should get a full feeding. If a baby is getting a full feeding each time he or she eats, then the baby will be getting plenty of nutrition, especially from breastfeeding mothers (many people do not realize that formula-fed babies can be on Babywise too). When a baby has a full belly, of course it will be able to go longer between feedings. The authors are very clear that in the first 1-2 weeks, the mother should feed the baby whenever the baby is hungry. Furthermore, while establishing a routine, the authors continually refer to growth charts for baby weight gain to tell mothers not to rush to space out feedings, because growth is the most important part in feeding.
2. Babywise babies are hyper-scheduled.
The term that Babywise uses to describe their style of feeding is parent-directed feeding (PDF). That means that the parent makes and informed decision about when to feed the baby. The baby is part of the larger family, which includes mom and dad and perhaps older siblings as well. Therefore, creating a routine that fits both baby and family means that everyone is getting the attention that they need. Dad and mom can still have their relationship, and older children still have time to spend with mom and dad too. In the early weeks, the mother will establish a first feeding that stays within a half-hour start time each morning, and the rest of the day falls into a routine after that first feeding. For example, the parent may set a start time of 6:30 am. If the baby wakes up hungry at 6:00 am, go ahead and feed him. Or if he is sleeping, wake him by 7:00 am to stay on a flexible schedule. Younger babies will be eating every 2 to 2 1/2 hours, and as they grow they will lengthen the time between feedings to 3 or 3 1/2 hours. Flexibility is emphasized. Let's say the baby usually eats at 9:30 am but another sibling has an appointment at 10:00 am. Mother can make the decision to feed the baby early at 9:00 am in order to have the feeding done and make it to the appointment. Or, if the family is traveling on a plane and the baby is crying, the book encourages mom to consider others and not wait to feed him.
3. Babywise babies are left to cry without comfort for hours.
While the authors state that crying is part of a baby's day and that the baby may cry when put down to nap, they do not say that the baby should cry for hours. It is important to realize that babies do not cry just because of hunger. Maybe their diaper needs changed, or they have a burp that needs to come out, or they want some snuggle time. If the baby had a full feeding an hour ago, it may not be hunger. PDF encourages parents to go through all the scenarios to find the source of the baby's cry. The authors also state explicitly that hunger is always a reason to feed the baby before his or her next routine feeding. The authors also warn mothers to keep an eye out for growth spurts, because baby will need to eat more frequently during those times and motherwill need to adjust the routine to meet the baby's needs.
4. Babywise babies are unhappy and have unmet emotional needs.
This myth goes back to the idea that the baby is crying for hours without comfort, which is not happening. In reality, a predictable routine brings peace in knowing what to expect. Babies who fall into the routine wake up cooing from naps, not crying. (And I can attest that this is personally true with my baby). Furthermore, the routine developed in Babywise starts with feeding, then moves to wake time and finally nap time. The authors encourage much interaction, cuddling, and playing together during wake time, and has a whole chapter with activities to do with your baby during these times. If the mother and father are interacting with the baby in these alert times after feeding, this is where many emotional needs can be met. The physical need to eat is different than the emotional need for interaction. Certainly one can interact while eating, but it is not the only time emotional needs can be met.
5. Babywise mothers will have milk supply issues.
Again, a hyper-schedule is not what Babywise is about. In early weeks the authors warn not to let the baby sleep more than five hours between feedings at night, and to keep to 2 to 2 1/2 hours during the day, gradually moving up as the baby gets older and the stomach expands to hold more food. If the baby is nursing long enough to get full feedings each time, the mother's breast will be emptied and then fill again for the next feeding. Emptying the breast keeps milk supply up, but snack feedings may hurt milk supply. The book clearly talks about how when baby starts to sleep through the night, mom may need to feed more during the day to have enough stimulation (all mothers are different) so mom should keep an eye out. It also discourages moving too fast to eliminate night feedings or day feedings because of the same reason.
6. Babywise mothers are selfish and do not love their children.
It is not selfish to want a good night's sleep in order to have energy to take care of your family. The family includes the husband, which is the primary relationship, and other siblings as well as baby. Functioning on limited sleep for months at a time takes a toll on your health and emotions. Sleeping through the night is good for both mother and baby. Mothers knows she needs to be healthy to take care her baby, so helping set a routine that leads to longer nighttime sleep is loving and advantageous to everyone in the family.
**************************************
I would like to write a little about how Babywise has personally worked for me. I write this after my 9 week old son just slept 8 (yes, 8!) hours last night. During his first week, I fed him basically whenever he cried, 12 or so times a day. I realized early on that crying did not always equal hunger, so I changed a diaper or held him before I offered the breast if he had just eaten. I did feed him very frequently though and really, really worked to get a full feeding- tickling his feed, talking to him, blowing lightly on his face. He was nursing up to 20 minutes on each side and got used to feeling full. Even but the end of that week though, I was so worn out, so starting about week two I began to space feedings out, but really this happened pretty naturally since he was having a full stomach. From week three through about six, he was eating every three hours in the morning (6, 9, 12, 3) and then evening feedings would be 2 1/2 hours apart. Even at three to four weeks, he was going four hours between feedings at night, which allowed me three hours for sleep. Then I stopped waking him up after the last evening feeding (10 or 11 pm) around a month and he would go five hours between feedings, gradually working up to six hours some nights. Whatever time he got up in the night, I would try to feed him around 6:30 in the morning (sometimes 6, or 7) to establish that first morning feeding because I will be going back to work in the fall, and he will have to be on a schedule then anyway. Since he was about six weeks old, he has only got up for that early morning (3 or 4 am) feeding a handful of times. It has been great!! I feel so much better having slept. I can spend time with my hubby during Ansel's naps, get the house clean, prepare meals, even can produce from our garden. I should probably note that Ansel's eating and wake time is about 60 to 90 minutes, and then his nap is 90 to 120 minutes, filling in the rest of the three hours until his next meal. So he eats at 9:30 am, I change his diaper and get him dressed at 10 am, and then we play together, do tummy time, etc until 10:30, when he goes back to sleep for his nap. I think being on this routine will really help when I go back to work in the fall.
I realize that I have a very type-A personality and love to have a routine. I am sure that being into a routine like this might make some people crazy who are more spontaneous. But it works for me. And actually, I hated breastfeeding at first but now I feel like I could maybe go even more than my goal of six months. Ansel is getting faster at eating (I know this comes with age) and really loves his schedule, waking up cooing from his naps. Yes, there were times of crying when we first started, but I think that would happen if we were on a routine or not. For example, he is almost always a little fussy in the evening, even if he just ate and I'm playing with him. Evening is just his fussy time. And for growth: he's 14 pounds at nine weeks, gaining over five pounds since birth. He's smiling all the time. I would say he is physically and emotionally nourished! Still, I respect people who follow a different philosophy of feeding, because each mother needs to do what she feels is best for her baby. Babywise works for me.
Friday, July 11, 2014
Happy Two Months Ansel!
Time flies when.... you have a baby. I look back at the last two months, and where did they go? They went to cuddling and family time. They went to kisses and giggles and spontaneous smiles. They went to watching Ansel gain over four pounds and few inches in length. Last week he was almost 13 pounds, and he's growing out of his 0-3 onsies and wearing some 3-6 month onsies! I just can't believe it.
At the same time, some days were slow too. I'll just be honest: those days when Ansel couldn't settle down to nap, or woke up right when I was trying to finish dinner (because yes, my husband and I still need to eat too!) Sometimes I run through all the possibilities in my head: is he hungry? does he still have a burp that's bothering him? does he need changed? is he in comfortable? does he need swaddled? does he need more cuddle time? why does he continue to favor turning his head to the left? Sometimes it is hard to know what he wants and needs, but I am doing my best. I tell myself that he is growing and he is smiling, so I must be doing something right.
So at this two month mark, let me describe Ansel to you: He is becoming quite the little chunker, with rolls popping up on his arms and legs. (Poor kid has no chance of avoiding thunder thighs with his mom and dad's gene pool). He loves to kick his legs around and wave his arms too. He often wiggles out of his swaddle by morning, and he also wiggles a foot down from where I placed him at the beginning of the night. Justin surmises that he does the worm to wiggle himself down. Speaking of the night, Ansel is sleeping about 7 hours through the night! Usually he sleeps from about 10:30- 5:30, give or take a half hour on each side. I attribute this to his hearty appetite during the day. He is down to just six nursing sessions a day, so his little tummy must have expanded to take more milk at each session. He likes to be on routine too, eating about every three hours, and he lets me know when it's time if I don't get there first. During playtime, he likes to hang out under his gym and watch the lights and hanging toys above him. He enjoys music too. He is also doing well at looking towards a voice and tracking for a short time with his eyes. His neck is getting strong too, and instead of crying through tummy time, he likes to look back and forth. During bath time, he has no reservations, sometimes cooing while I wash him. While Ansel still doesn't always smile when we are interacting, he definitely lets us know he is happy after he eats and when his cheek is tickled. His little coos and grunts keep us entertained too.
I think that I need to make sure I just enjoy each day. Sometimes I get caught up in thinking about when I should start having him listen to classical music, or if I should already be reading more to him, but I need to just enjoy where he is now. Yes, Justin and I are huge influences on who he will become. But let's not overrate ourselves. God is the one who gave us this precious life, and He already knows each tiny development that happens as Ansel grows. I need to be more focused on just praying for my baby each day, that he would become a godly child, teen, and young man. That is by far more important than what sports he will play, what instruments he will enjoy, or how well he does in school.
Happy two months Ansel! Your father and I are excited to watch you grow!
At the same time, some days were slow too. I'll just be honest: those days when Ansel couldn't settle down to nap, or woke up right when I was trying to finish dinner (because yes, my husband and I still need to eat too!) Sometimes I run through all the possibilities in my head: is he hungry? does he still have a burp that's bothering him? does he need changed? is he in comfortable? does he need swaddled? does he need more cuddle time? why does he continue to favor turning his head to the left? Sometimes it is hard to know what he wants and needs, but I am doing my best. I tell myself that he is growing and he is smiling, so I must be doing something right.
So at this two month mark, let me describe Ansel to you: He is becoming quite the little chunker, with rolls popping up on his arms and legs. (Poor kid has no chance of avoiding thunder thighs with his mom and dad's gene pool). He loves to kick his legs around and wave his arms too. He often wiggles out of his swaddle by morning, and he also wiggles a foot down from where I placed him at the beginning of the night. Justin surmises that he does the worm to wiggle himself down. Speaking of the night, Ansel is sleeping about 7 hours through the night! Usually he sleeps from about 10:30- 5:30, give or take a half hour on each side. I attribute this to his hearty appetite during the day. He is down to just six nursing sessions a day, so his little tummy must have expanded to take more milk at each session. He likes to be on routine too, eating about every three hours, and he lets me know when it's time if I don't get there first. During playtime, he likes to hang out under his gym and watch the lights and hanging toys above him. He enjoys music too. He is also doing well at looking towards a voice and tracking for a short time with his eyes. His neck is getting strong too, and instead of crying through tummy time, he likes to look back and forth. During bath time, he has no reservations, sometimes cooing while I wash him. While Ansel still doesn't always smile when we are interacting, he definitely lets us know he is happy after he eats and when his cheek is tickled. His little coos and grunts keep us entertained too.
I think that I need to make sure I just enjoy each day. Sometimes I get caught up in thinking about when I should start having him listen to classical music, or if I should already be reading more to him, but I need to just enjoy where he is now. Yes, Justin and I are huge influences on who he will become. But let's not overrate ourselves. God is the one who gave us this precious life, and He already knows each tiny development that happens as Ansel grows. I need to be more focused on just praying for my baby each day, that he would become a godly child, teen, and young man. That is by far more important than what sports he will play, what instruments he will enjoy, or how well he does in school.
Happy two months Ansel! Your father and I are excited to watch you grow!
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Breastfeeding Survival 101
I've made it through six weeks of breastfeeding. They say if you make it that far, you and baby will settle into a rhythm and have a successful breastfeeding relationship. I definitely feel like I, as well as my baby, have learned a lot in the process. I've read several books, talked other moms, and now had the experience myself. I certainly don't think I'm an expert, but I would like to write about what I've learned that has helped me survive these first few weeks.
1) Read up on breastfeeding BEFORE the baby comes. I thought, "Hey, it's the most natural thing in the world so it can't be that hard!" And yes, it is natural and beautiful, but sometimes there are some issues to work out. So read a couple books.
2) Know what positions to try. Cradle hold is most popular, but it really doesn't work well for me (I have large breasts and that might be why). I like the football hold much better, or laying down. But like I read, the nipple is a circle, so the baby can come to it from any direction, so find a position that helps the baby get the best latch.
3) Get a good latch. When the lactation consultant (LC) came the morning after my baby was born, they told me I had "nipple trauma" already. Babies know how to suckle, but they don't know how to nurse. I really had to help my baby get a deep latch, and that means I had to re-latch him frequently in the first week or so, and sometimes even still.
4) Use a nipple shield. For people who have small nipple buds, inverted nipples, or a barracuda baby, nipple shields can bring great relief and help the baby learn to latch correctly. As a friend told me, "It really takes the edge off" of the pain if the baby has a really hard suckle. I am so glad that the LC recommended this for me right away, or I would have had some serious pain. (I'm not sure if this is connected, but my baby had no problem taking a bottle of breast milk even from two days old, and I think it might be because he was used to the nipple shield. He hasn't refused any type of bottle nipple yet).
5) Get Lansinoh Gel Soothies for relief. What a lifesaver!
6) Your milk production is set in the first weeks. Therefore, you want to nurse or pump as much as possible. I pumped until I was comfortable when my milk first came in, and it helped me to have a good milk supply. Six weeks in, I can still easily pump an extra 10-15 ounces a day, and I've been freezing it for when I got back to work in the fall. I have close to 300 ounces in the freezer now.
7) Everyone has a different milk storage capacity, and it doesn't necessarily correspond with the size of the breast. For example, I can pump about five ounces from each breast. Someone else might only be able to pump two. This means that my baby might only take one breast per feeding, while another child would always take both breasts. Also, one breast may produce more than another, which you can tell when you pump.
8) Fully draining the breast at each feeding will make more milk. It's like supply and demand. If the supply is used up, the body will demand more to be made. That's why it's so important that the baby gets a full feeding each time, because it helps keep the milk supply up. Sometimes, if my baby eats 15 minutes on one breast and only 5 minutes on the other, I will pump the lesser to even it out. Or, I will just start with the lesser at the next feeding. (It depends on if I am trying to store some that day or not. I've started not doing this as much because I have a lot in the freezer already, but it's a great way to keep your milk production up and save some, especially at the beginning if you feel really full if the baby does not eat evenly).
9) Get a full feeding at each feeding. Do whatever you have to do to make sure the baby has a full belly. Tickle their feet, change their diaper, ect. Avoiding a "snack" feeding assures that the baby is getting the hindmilk, the rich fatty milk that comes after the foremilk, which quenches the thirst. Getting a full feeding also means that the baby's metabolism and hunger cycles will begin the regulate. Even if you don't like the idea of scheduling when your baby eats, getting a full feeding will naturally fall into a rhythm of 2-3 hours or so.
10) You can usually increase milk production. To increase milk production, pump after a few feedings a day to give the breast more stimulation. Also, look into what foods do and don't help breastfeeding. For me, oatmeal seems to increase my supply. Severe dieting could hurt it. Do your research on this because I can't possibly go into all those scenarios.
11) Have a flexible routine. There are many different philosophies when it comes to getting baby into a routine. I like Babywise because it encourages full feedings and naturally helps the baby fall into a schedule that you guide. For example, I try to establish the first feeding of the day at 6:30 AM. The rest of the days falls into a 3 hour schedule. However, if baby seems hungry early, I will feed him a half hour early or so. Likewise, if he's napping and I need to finish dinner, I will let him sleep a half hour and feed him when I'm done. So there is a general routine but at the same time it can flex with my day. If I have an appointment, I might move the feeding up a half hour so that I don't have to worry about feeding while I'm out or taking a bottle. The bottom line is that for me, having a routine helps me feel sane!! I remember the first week, when it is important to ignore routine and get make sure the baby gets a full feeding, that I felt like I was going crazy and not getting any rest. Now my baby has settled into a routine and I feel like a person again. I'm not yelling at my husband or emotionally unstable because of exhaustion.
12) Set a goal. I want to breastfeed for six months, or until the baby begins to take solid food. Maybe you want to go a year, or three months, or less, or more. But having a goal will help you see the end of the days where all you feel like you do is breast feed the baby. (Or maybe that's just me).
13) Everyone has a unique breastfeeding rhythm with their baby. What works for me might not work for you, and that's ok! We know that breastfeeding is the best food possible for baby, so as long as the baby is making good growth, we don't have to compare ourselves. Each mother and baby pair is unique and should do what works best for them.
1) Read up on breastfeeding BEFORE the baby comes. I thought, "Hey, it's the most natural thing in the world so it can't be that hard!" And yes, it is natural and beautiful, but sometimes there are some issues to work out. So read a couple books.
2) Know what positions to try. Cradle hold is most popular, but it really doesn't work well for me (I have large breasts and that might be why). I like the football hold much better, or laying down. But like I read, the nipple is a circle, so the baby can come to it from any direction, so find a position that helps the baby get the best latch.
3) Get a good latch. When the lactation consultant (LC) came the morning after my baby was born, they told me I had "nipple trauma" already. Babies know how to suckle, but they don't know how to nurse. I really had to help my baby get a deep latch, and that means I had to re-latch him frequently in the first week or so, and sometimes even still.
4) Use a nipple shield. For people who have small nipple buds, inverted nipples, or a barracuda baby, nipple shields can bring great relief and help the baby learn to latch correctly. As a friend told me, "It really takes the edge off" of the pain if the baby has a really hard suckle. I am so glad that the LC recommended this for me right away, or I would have had some serious pain. (I'm not sure if this is connected, but my baby had no problem taking a bottle of breast milk even from two days old, and I think it might be because he was used to the nipple shield. He hasn't refused any type of bottle nipple yet).
5) Get Lansinoh Gel Soothies for relief. What a lifesaver!
6) Your milk production is set in the first weeks. Therefore, you want to nurse or pump as much as possible. I pumped until I was comfortable when my milk first came in, and it helped me to have a good milk supply. Six weeks in, I can still easily pump an extra 10-15 ounces a day, and I've been freezing it for when I got back to work in the fall. I have close to 300 ounces in the freezer now.
7) Everyone has a different milk storage capacity, and it doesn't necessarily correspond with the size of the breast. For example, I can pump about five ounces from each breast. Someone else might only be able to pump two. This means that my baby might only take one breast per feeding, while another child would always take both breasts. Also, one breast may produce more than another, which you can tell when you pump.
8) Fully draining the breast at each feeding will make more milk. It's like supply and demand. If the supply is used up, the body will demand more to be made. That's why it's so important that the baby gets a full feeding each time, because it helps keep the milk supply up. Sometimes, if my baby eats 15 minutes on one breast and only 5 minutes on the other, I will pump the lesser to even it out. Or, I will just start with the lesser at the next feeding. (It depends on if I am trying to store some that day or not. I've started not doing this as much because I have a lot in the freezer already, but it's a great way to keep your milk production up and save some, especially at the beginning if you feel really full if the baby does not eat evenly).
9) Get a full feeding at each feeding. Do whatever you have to do to make sure the baby has a full belly. Tickle their feet, change their diaper, ect. Avoiding a "snack" feeding assures that the baby is getting the hindmilk, the rich fatty milk that comes after the foremilk, which quenches the thirst. Getting a full feeding also means that the baby's metabolism and hunger cycles will begin the regulate. Even if you don't like the idea of scheduling when your baby eats, getting a full feeding will naturally fall into a rhythm of 2-3 hours or so.
10) You can usually increase milk production. To increase milk production, pump after a few feedings a day to give the breast more stimulation. Also, look into what foods do and don't help breastfeeding. For me, oatmeal seems to increase my supply. Severe dieting could hurt it. Do your research on this because I can't possibly go into all those scenarios.
11) Have a flexible routine. There are many different philosophies when it comes to getting baby into a routine. I like Babywise because it encourages full feedings and naturally helps the baby fall into a schedule that you guide. For example, I try to establish the first feeding of the day at 6:30 AM. The rest of the days falls into a 3 hour schedule. However, if baby seems hungry early, I will feed him a half hour early or so. Likewise, if he's napping and I need to finish dinner, I will let him sleep a half hour and feed him when I'm done. So there is a general routine but at the same time it can flex with my day. If I have an appointment, I might move the feeding up a half hour so that I don't have to worry about feeding while I'm out or taking a bottle. The bottom line is that for me, having a routine helps me feel sane!! I remember the first week, when it is important to ignore routine and get make sure the baby gets a full feeding, that I felt like I was going crazy and not getting any rest. Now my baby has settled into a routine and I feel like a person again. I'm not yelling at my husband or emotionally unstable because of exhaustion.
12) Set a goal. I want to breastfeed for six months, or until the baby begins to take solid food. Maybe you want to go a year, or three months, or less, or more. But having a goal will help you see the end of the days where all you feel like you do is breast feed the baby. (Or maybe that's just me).
13) Everyone has a unique breastfeeding rhythm with their baby. What works for me might not work for you, and that's ok! We know that breastfeeding is the best food possible for baby, so as long as the baby is making good growth, we don't have to compare ourselves. Each mother and baby pair is unique and should do what works best for them.
Friday, June 6, 2014
Postpartum Week 4
I've always been very independent, and liked to set my own schedule and go where I please, when I please. So, adjustment is interesting. I have to feed Ansel every three hours, so it ties me down, for lack of a better way to describe it. Not that I mind, but it definitely makes me rethink everything. If I feed/burp/change him from 9 am-10am, I have just two hours to leave the house with him and get back in time for the next feeding. (I'm not at the point yet where I feel comfortable breastfeeding out) Two hours is not that long! If my drive time is 10-15 minutes each way, that really only leaves me with an hour and a half to accomplish things. Whew! Not much time! That's been something to get used to. Today I went in to school so some of the teachers and students could meet Ansel, and I was 15 minutes late getting back to feed him, and let me tell you, he let me know.
Last week I felt like Ansel was getting better at feeding, and we could be done with the feeding routine in 30-40 minutes. He's started feeding longer this week though, and it's closer to 50 minutes every time. That means I am breastfeeding for 7 hours a day. Geez!
Breastfeeding. I've blogged before about how I like the Babywise philosophy for several reasons, so now I'm just working my way through the practical side of it. In trying to establish a schedule, they recommend 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 hours between feedings. I think most babies do this anyways. Ansel eats about every three hours through the morning and afternoon: 6 am, 9 am, 12 pm, 3 pm. Then he naps from 1 1/2 to 2 hours between feedings, after he has some wake-time with mommy. Then in the evening, sometimes he eats in 2 1/2 hour increments. I found that if it is just 2 hours, he doesn't seem to eat well. So the evening feedings are something like: 5:30 or 6 pm, 8 or 8:30 pm, and 10:30 or 11 pm. I put him in the crib to sleep after the 8 ish feeding. After the 11 feeding, he usually will sleep until 2 or 3 am. (Thank goodness! Three hours of sleep for me!) Then the day begins again.
As the weeks go on, I hope that the early AM feeding starts to drop. It would be really great if in a couple of weeks, he can sleep 11-6. That would just be amazing. But I think we still have some time to go on that one.... Last night though, he slept 11:30-5:45.
Other behaviors I have noticed: He is usually pretty alert after his morning feedings for a short time, and then goes back to nap easily. Usually this is the same in the afternoon. In the evening, however, he is more fussy, and sometimes doesn't even seem to sleep between when he eats. We try holding him, putting him in the bouncer or swing, and sometimes this helps, and sometimes it doesn't. Evening just must be his fussy time. This is difficult though, because it is still hard for me to know when he cries if he is really hungry, or just fussy or gassy, etc. And I can't hold him all the time! As much as I love him, I have the rest of the house and myself to take care of. He is precious, and I love our snuggle times, but I have to be able to get other things done. Maybe this sounds harsh. I know that he is still so little, and I do try to hold him and snuggle as much as I can. It's just I can't hold him all the time. But it is hard when he cries, because of course I don't want him to cry, but I know I have done everything I can to help it: just fed, clean diaper, burped, swaddled, etc. Emotionally this part is very difficult for me, because I don't like hearing him cry.
Then I will think that we are getting into a rhythm: last week he was eating 10 minutes on each breast. The last few days though, it took him 20 minutes to finish sometimes. Then he would only take 5 minutes on the other side! Ugh! Yesterday he seemed disinterested at a few feedings, and though I tried and tried to keep him going, he didn't eat very good. Then he was hungry early, and fussy, and the schedule is whacked again. Obviously I had to adapt a little in there. The bottom line is that I want what is best for him: full feedings to get the hindmilk, and then the time between feedings is better too. I keep telling myself that, and keep working towards full feedings. It's hard though, and I hope that we hit our breastfeeding stride soon. I keep telling myself that it is worth it, and it is so much better for Ansel. If I can just keep it up, I think we will get the hang of it. Practice makes perfect, right?
Ansel is a very grunt-y baby. He grunts as he goes to sleep, during his "active sleep" times, and during nursing times. It is kinda funny, and I guess it is just his was of processing things. He is starting to be more alert during wake times. He is tracking better with his eyes, looking towards the mobile on the swing and toward the person talking to him. He is doing great during tummy time (though he doesn't like it) by holding his head up off the floor and turning it to the right side. He really favors the left side and almost always leans or turns his head to that side.
Another thing that I am dealing with is burping. I haven't been able to find a pattern with his burping, and maybe there just isn't one. Sometimes he will spit up a larger amount (once or twice a day), and other times it will be just a belch or small dribble out of his mouth. Since I haven't been able to find that "magic number" of time that he needs to burp, or position (over the shoulder, over the arm, over the lap), I feel like I am washing a lot of sheets, clothes, and changing table pads. But I've decided to just accept it. I try to burp him for five minutes or so, and just deal with it if he has a big burp 30 minutes later....
Emotionally, I feel like I am doing pretty good. Adjusting to life with baby is trying at times, but Justin, Ansel, and I are working through it together. I think what is bugging me still is the birth and how I feel about having kids again. Birth was really tough, and I don't think I'm being a sissy about it. I am month out, and sometimes I think I could have more kids, and other times I say no-way-in-H-E-double-hockey-sticks I am ever doing that again. But then I feel bad for thinking that. I mean, there are so many people out there who can't have kids, who have tried and tried and tried, and I stand back and choose not to do it again. It seems like I'm wasting my fertility or something. So then I feel guilty for being so frustrated over the birth. I think part of it is that I prepared so much for the birth, I really felt confident, and it was like I got all the worst case scenarios: back labor, 24 hours long, at night, 2 1/2 hours of pushing. Like all the classes, practice, relaxation, reading, ect was just a waste of time when labor and birth sucked anyways. So then I tell myself that it was always going to be tough, but I made it through. It still hasn't changed my mind about wanting to go through it again though.
I think I am rambling now and that last paragraph was a little too stream-of-consciousness for me. But working through my feelings post-labor and birth is like that. We always did want to foster to adopt, and right now that seems like a really good option. People who know me know I'm not a baby person, so maybe fostering starting at the toddler age would be a good fit for me. Yet I still feel guilty like that's somehow taking the easy way out. But I know there are so many kids in the foster system that need love too. See how conflicted I am? Ugh. One day it will all sort out. I am just going to concentrate on being the best mom for Ansel that I can right now. It's not like I have to plan the rest of my life right now.
I'm just so Type-A. I want to plan, to control. Sigh. I need to just trust God and let him lead through this stage first.
Enough of my frustrations for now!
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Breastfeeding and Babywise
If only it were really that easy.
I know I haven't had the toughest time, but I (and Ansel) are definitely learning. We had a few issues to work through in the beginning. Over the course of the first night, I would put him to my breast and he would eat. However, it definitely felt rather like pinching, and was not pleasant. I knew it shouldn't hurt, and we called the lactation consultant in the next morning. Ansel had certainly been sucking, and getting the colostrum, but he was indeed pinching me- and I had red marks to prove it. He was not getting a deep enough latch, the LC said, and probably needed his frenulum clipped (AKA he was tongue-tied). In combination with that, and sorry if this is TMI, apparently I have small (not inverted or flat) nipple buds, which compounded Ansel's latch problem.
To solve the problem, the LC gave me nipple shields. I am convinced that whoever invented these should have a special place in heaven! What a huge help! They really helped Ansel latch on and saved me from feeling so pinched all the time. The LC had me use a hand pump to draw the nipple out for a minute or so, then put the nipple shield on. The nipple shield got us through the first week.
After the first week, I was starting to get annoyed at the nipple shields, just because it was an extra step. So, I started taking them off part way through the feeding a couple of times a day. Sometimes Ansel was willing, sometimes not. Sometimes, it hurt pretty bad. Finally, today, I was trying the side-lying position, which I hadn't used since the hospital, and forgot the nipple shield in the other room. I decided we would just try it without. Ansel did great! He fed 15 minutes on each side without it. I feel so good about this. Hopefully we can be almost done with using them, but I will have to see how tonight goes.
Now for Babywise. (I know not everyone agrees with the philosophy, but I just challenge people to actually read the book because it might be different that you think). The goal of the first week is to get full feedings every time I nurse. When Ansel had a full feeding, he lasted longer between feedings. Typically this was 2 1/2 to three hours, though at the end of the first week he had a few bouts of 2 hours... I felt like all I did was feed him! But he was giving me plenty of dirty diapers, both wet and poopy, so I know he was getting what he needed.
By Sunday though, I was ready to try to move him onto more of a schedule. I needed it, so I could get enough sleep, and he needed it, so that he knew what to expect. While Babywise encourages you to not really worry about the schedule in the second week (just get full feedings), I thought I would go ahead and try. I set up a 3 hour schedule, and put it at 6 am, 9 am, 12pm, 3 pm, 6pm, 9pm, 12 am, 3 am. I would feed him at those times, working to get him at least 10 minutes on each breast, and then give him "wake time," as Babywise calls it, and then put him down to sleep. Sometimes it takes Ansel longer to get a full feeding- 45 minutes or more- and his wake time is only 15 minutes or so. If I try to keep him up longer, he is actually crankier and has a harder time falling asleep. Then he will sleep for about two hours, at which point I will wake him up and feed him again, and repeat the cycle.
I really like this routine for several reasons. First, both Ansel and I know what to expect. Second, it gives me some type of sanity when I feel like all I do is feed him! I have at least an hour and a half to myself between each feeding that I can shower, take a nap, pick up the house, or something of that nature. It's helping me feel like life is returning to normal. Ansel is eating great too. He usually nurses for 10-15 minutes on each side. Then he is alert for a short time before being ready to sleep again. Now, it may take time for him to fall asleep. That is, he will cry for 5- 20 minutes sometimes. While I hate hearing him cry, I know that he has a full belly, he has had cuddle time, his diaper is clean, etc. He just has to learn to self-pacify. I do at times use a pacifier, because I think he is one of those babies that just needs to suck on something. But I try to only use it at night, when I really need to rest.
What is awesome is that over the last few nights, since I have started the 3 hour routine, Ansel has started sleeping longer. So, I feed him 9:00-9:45 pm, and he sleeps 9:45-1. That means I get a 3 hour block! So awesome. Tonight I am feeding him at 10 pm because we were a little off the 3 hour schedule, and hopefully I will only have to get up at 2 am, and then 6 am. Hopefully...... I don't want to spread feedings more than 4 hours this week because of my milk supply, but 4 hours during the night is so good for me to get rest and be a better mommy.
More updates as the weeks go by. Thank you, Babywise!
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