It really makes me sad when people bash Babywise. Usually, said people haven't even read the book! I'm fine if you have read the book and disagree with the philosophy, but read the book first. It's like saying you are a Republican (or Democrat or Green) just because your family is. You have to do the research yourself to make informed opinions. With that being said, I would like to post on some of the common misconceptions about Babywise.
1. Babywise babies are malnourished.
The premise of Babywise from birth on is that the baby should get a full feeding. If a baby is getting a full feeding each time he or she eats, then the baby will be getting plenty of nutrition, especially from breastfeeding mothers (many people do not realize that formula-fed babies can be on Babywise too). When a baby has a full belly, of course it will be able to go longer between feedings. The authors are very clear that in the first 1-2 weeks, the mother should feed the baby whenever the baby is hungry. Furthermore, while establishing a routine, the authors continually refer to growth charts for baby weight gain to tell mothers not to rush to space out feedings, because growth is the most important part in feeding.
2. Babywise babies are hyper-scheduled.
The term that Babywise uses to describe their style of feeding is parent-directed feeding (PDF). That means that the parent makes and informed decision about when to feed the baby. The baby is part of the larger family, which includes mom and dad and perhaps older siblings as well. Therefore, creating a routine that fits both baby and family means that everyone is getting the attention that they need. Dad and mom can still have their relationship, and older children still have time to spend with mom and dad too. In the early weeks, the mother will establish a first feeding that stays within a half-hour start time each morning, and the rest of the day falls into a routine after that first feeding. For example, the parent may set a start time of 6:30 am. If the baby wakes up hungry at 6:00 am, go ahead and feed him. Or if he is sleeping, wake him by 7:00 am to stay on a flexible schedule. Younger babies will be eating every 2 to 2 1/2 hours, and as they grow they will lengthen the time between feedings to 3 or 3 1/2 hours. Flexibility is emphasized. Let's say the baby usually eats at 9:30 am but another sibling has an appointment at 10:00 am. Mother can make the decision to feed the baby early at 9:00 am in order to have the feeding done and make it to the appointment. Or, if the family is traveling on a plane and the baby is crying, the book encourages mom to consider others and not wait to feed him.
3. Babywise babies are left to cry without comfort for hours.
While the authors state that crying is part of a baby's day and that the baby may cry when put down to nap, they do not say that the baby should cry for hours. It is important to realize that babies do not cry just because of hunger. Maybe their diaper needs changed, or they have a burp that needs to come out, or they want some snuggle time. If the baby had a full feeding an hour ago, it may not be hunger. PDF encourages parents to go through all the scenarios to find the source of the baby's cry. The authors also state explicitly that hunger is always a reason to feed the baby before his or her next routine feeding. The authors also warn mothers to keep an eye out for growth spurts, because baby will need to eat more frequently during those times and motherwill need to adjust the routine to meet the baby's needs.
4. Babywise babies are unhappy and have unmet emotional needs.
This myth goes back to the idea that the baby is crying for hours without comfort, which is not happening. In reality, a predictable routine brings peace in knowing what to expect. Babies who fall into the routine wake up cooing from naps, not crying. (And I can attest that this is personally true with my baby). Furthermore, the routine developed in Babywise starts with feeding, then moves to wake time and finally nap time. The authors encourage much interaction, cuddling, and playing together during wake time, and has a whole chapter with activities to do with your baby during these times. If the mother and father are interacting with the baby in these alert times after feeding, this is where many emotional needs can be met. The physical need to eat is different than the emotional need for interaction. Certainly one can interact while eating, but it is not the only time emotional needs can be met.
5. Babywise mothers will have milk supply issues.
Again, a hyper-schedule is not what Babywise is about. In early weeks the authors warn not to let the baby sleep more than five hours between feedings at night, and to keep to 2 to 2 1/2 hours during the day, gradually moving up as the baby gets older and the stomach expands to hold more food. If the baby is nursing long enough to get full feedings each time, the mother's breast will be emptied and then fill again for the next feeding. Emptying the breast keeps milk supply up, but snack feedings may hurt milk supply. The book clearly talks about how when baby starts to sleep through the night, mom may need to feed more during the day to have enough stimulation (all mothers are different) so mom should keep an eye out. It also discourages moving too fast to eliminate night feedings or day feedings because of the same reason.
6. Babywise mothers are selfish and do not love their children.
It is not selfish to want a good night's sleep in order to have energy to take care of your family. The family includes the husband, which is the primary relationship, and other siblings as well as baby. Functioning on limited sleep for months at a time takes a toll on your health and emotions. Sleeping through the night is good for both mother and baby. Mothers knows she needs to be healthy to take care her baby, so helping set a routine that leads to longer nighttime sleep is loving and advantageous to everyone in the family.
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I would like to write a little about how Babywise has personally worked for me. I write this after my 9 week old son just slept 8 (yes, 8!) hours last night. During his first week, I fed him basically whenever he cried, 12 or so times a day. I realized early on that crying did not always equal hunger, so I changed a diaper or held him before I offered the breast if he had just eaten. I did feed him very frequently though and really, really worked to get a full feeding- tickling his feed, talking to him, blowing lightly on his face. He was nursing up to 20 minutes on each side and got used to feeling full. Even but the end of that week though, I was so worn out, so starting about week two I began to space feedings out, but really this happened pretty naturally since he was having a full stomach. From week three through about six, he was eating every three hours in the morning (6, 9, 12, 3) and then evening feedings would be 2 1/2 hours apart. Even at three to four weeks, he was going four hours between feedings at night, which allowed me three hours for sleep. Then I stopped waking him up after the last evening feeding (10 or 11 pm) around a month and he would go five hours between feedings, gradually working up to six hours some nights. Whatever time he got up in the night, I would try to feed him around 6:30 in the morning (sometimes 6, or 7) to establish that first morning feeding because I will be going back to work in the fall, and he will have to be on a schedule then anyway. Since he was about six weeks old, he has only got up for that early morning (3 or 4 am) feeding a handful of times. It has been great!! I feel so much better having slept. I can spend time with my hubby during Ansel's naps, get the house clean, prepare meals, even can produce from our garden. I should probably note that Ansel's eating and wake time is about 60 to 90 minutes, and then his nap is 90 to 120 minutes, filling in the rest of the three hours until his next meal. So he eats at 9:30 am, I change his diaper and get him dressed at 10 am, and then we play together, do tummy time, etc until 10:30, when he goes back to sleep for his nap. I think being on this routine will really help when I go back to work in the fall.
I realize that I have a very type-A personality and love to have a routine. I am sure that being into a routine like this might make some people crazy who are more spontaneous. But it works for me. And actually, I hated breastfeeding at first but now I feel like I could maybe go even more than my goal of six months. Ansel is getting faster at eating (I know this comes with age) and really loves his schedule, waking up cooing from his naps. Yes, there were times of crying when we first started, but I think that would happen if we were on a routine or not. For example, he is almost always a little fussy in the evening, even if he just ate and I'm playing with him. Evening is just his fussy time. And for growth: he's 14 pounds at nine weeks, gaining over five pounds since birth. He's smiling all the time. I would say he is physically and emotionally nourished! Still, I respect people who follow a different philosophy of feeding, because each mother needs to do what she feels is best for her baby. Babywise works for me.
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